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September 20, 2012

Last night before bed I REALLY overdid it with food. I began to go to that familiar place of condemnation, but I sensed my Father wanted to talk. He said, “Don’t pull away because of what you’ve done. I don’t condemn you; I understand.” Immediately I saw my life at a glance with emotional pain from dysfunctional family life. As a sickly baby that came close to death twice before I was a year old, I was given food to quiet me down for an overworked, stressed out father. So food became a comfort before I could talk. At nine months of age I had to go on my first diet (doctor’s orders) because I weighed 30 lbs. Jesus understands because He was human and was tempted just like me. He knew the family I would be born into, knew how severely my brother and sister were abused by our dad, and knew all my struggles before I was even conceived. He literally has watched my life unfold. As He spoke to me last night, I could sense for the first time in my spirit the reality of what He said, “I don’t condemn you; I understand.”

Although I’m struggling against condemnation this morning (a direct result from having lived in such a dysfunctional home), I’m not beating myself up as badly as I can see things from His perspective. Recently I’ve listened repeatedly to a teaching CD about looking at things from a different perspective and what a drastic difference that can make. Then, what did I read today in Jesus Calling (devotional by Sarah Young) but an encouragement to look at things more and more from His point of view. I then read 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 which fit so perfectly into all this. John Maxwell summed it all up as only he can, when he stated, “Success has less to do with gifts than with perspective.” The cry of my heart is, “Father, please help me see people, events, and circumstances through Your eyes. I want to be successful in Your kingdom, only for Your glory.”


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